Pad Thai. My only weakness. It just so happened that my favorite Thai spot was next to Johnnie’s place so after ordering copious amount of food, I made my way to his apartment. When it comes to navigating the streets, I’ve learned to stay to myself when walking alone and mastered the art of powering through crowds. I’ve been in the city for a while, harrowing introduction aside, it’s not as lonely as I thought it would be. Johnnie’s been busy lately. Sometimes we go awhile without seeing each other, but we still try to get together and hang out. Johnnie says they’re some of the only times when he feels normal. As I wait for a light, I look through my old messages, there are a few I haven’t replied to from people at work. One guy, Gerald, asked if I wanted to be apart of their movie night, “full of shitty movies and craft beer. it’s awful, you’ll love it.” I should definitely hang out with my coworkers more. They’re not that bad, I just never know how to be around them. I don’t remember being this awkward back home. Well, not home anymore. Just there. I shove the memories back down just before they surface. That was too close. I decide to stop for some alcohol for dinner. Johnnie may not be able to get drunk anymore, but I sure can.
—
Half an hour later, I find myself waiting to be buzzed in with a 6 pack of some Belgian beer the astute clerk said goes great with Asian dishes. Some older gentleman steps out and I squeeze through and make my way to his floor. Balancing the booze and food, I knock on the door. Johnnie swings it open. “Oh thank God,” he says and pulls me in. He takes the beer from my arms and heads to his kitchen. I notice four other people in the room, two men with dark hair and brown skin who looked like brothers, a broad fellow with red hair lounged on the floor, and a woman with an auburn undercut is in his one living chair. He’s left me to the wolves. Literally. “Hi, I didn’t know Johnnie had company.” Silence.
“I could just come back lat-“
“Nooo!,” he bellows from the kitchen. More silence. Awkward.
His guests merely observe me, except the one sitting in the brown living chair who smiles at me. I make my way to the living room were Johnnie’s four guests are having a hushed conversation amongst themselves. I pick up his remote and find that FBI show I’ve been trying to finish. Soon after, Johnnie brings forks and a beer. He sits next to me.
“Have you seen this yet, so good,” I say around a bite of noodles. Johnnie nods his head. So he’s not talking either. I turn to the only other woman in the room and the only person who’s acknowledged me.
“Do you work with Johnnie?” She shakes her head.
“No, we met through a mutual friend. Heard he was having some trouble, wanted to check on him”
I turn to Johnnie. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” he says to them more to me. I don’t push it. By the time the episode ends, I’ve finished my meal and started a second beer. The tension in the room has died down and everyone seems more comfortable with my presence. I look to everyone in the room to break the silence. I’ve been doing my best to keep the knee bouncing a minimum, but to no avail.
“So, is this a werewolf thing?” I ask.
Johnnie covers his face and shakes his head, while all his guest gawk at me.
“Goddamn it, Johnnie, you told her?” spoke the guy occupying space on the floor.
“She found out, and I wasn’t my fault.” The room erupts as they confront about secrets and safety and boundaries, and I’m regretting not going home and paying the extra delivery costs.
A vein in Johnnie’s neck looks like it literally going to explode, I reach over and grab his hand. He stops and looks at me. He offers a reassuring squeeze, letting go a deep exhale. From the corner of my eye, I see the woman watching us intently.
He turns back to his guests, “Look, I never planned on telling her, but the thing with Vivica happened and shit went to hell. But Anika’s good.” They look between us. One of the brothers speaks up, “We get it, but with everything you’re going through, you really think you can handle all of this alone?”
“I didn’t ask for this, so excuse me if I’m not particularly interested in being friends.” The other brother starts to talk but is cut off by the woman. “That’s understandable. Just know that we are here for you.” She walks over to me and offers a hand. “My name’s Shia, those two are Beck and Corson and the ginger on the floor there is Daniel. Sorry for the frosty bit earlier.”
I shake her hand. “Don’t worry about it. I’m Anika.”
“I heard,” she says as she returns to her seat. “So, how do you two know each other?”
—
For the next few hours, we chat. I learn that Shia and the others are a pack made mostly of turned werewolves that are good friends with Reginald. I gather that they have been trying to get Johnnie to join and he has been vehemently turning them down. And even though they never said it out loud, they’re worried about Johnnie going at it alone. Shia’s a bartender and Daniel’s a bouncer, while Beck works at a record shop and Corson makes artisanal cheeses. Getting to know them was interesting and Shia seemed particularly pleased that Johnnie loosened up and joined in the conversation. They left a few hours later, and I stayed to help Johnnie clean up.
I collapse onto the couch and Johnnie follows, his head laying in my lap. I play in his hair.
“I don’t care what I said last week. Please, drop by whenever you want” he says.
I laugh. “They’re not so bad.”
I feel a huff of air on my leg. “They need to get it through their heads that I don’t want anything to do with them. It’s like my life isn’t my life anymore.”
I stop rubbing his hair and force him to sit up.
“I know that every time you look at them you see the monster that attacked you.” He tries to look away, but I grab his chin. “Kid, you have to accept it. You’re not normal. And that’s okay. I love spending time with you, but I don’t know shit about his world and I can’t be there for you the way they can. Getting to know them couldn’t hurt.”
He tries to stare me down, but I already know I’ve won. “Fine, but the minute they start trying to involve me in some freaky werewolf cult shit, I’m out.”
Johnnie lets me crash on his couch, and in the darkness, I reach for my phone. I reread the message from Gerald before typing a message. “I’ll be there.” It couldn’t hurt for me to make some new friends, too.
Photo by Timothy Dykes on Unsplash
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